Every year around the holidays, gift-buying dread sets in. When not watching holiday movies high to distract ourselves, we spend hours scouring websites searching for the perfect item to surprise our families, Sig Os, and coworkers with.

Knowing our desperation, some retailers take advantage of us and take it way too far. While “whimsy” is appreciated, it feels like some stores are just straight-up trolling us, like we don’t get enough of that on the daily. They want all of our money for some of the most ridiculous items—ones that people with bills to pay would never actually purchase. These products are strictly for those with way too much money and not enough discerning taste. So, lock your coins away safely like you do your stash, because we refuse to let you buy any of these very real gifts. (The links to retailers are for browsing and confirmation only, just so you know we’re not trolling you!)