Dear Mom,
I figure you're the best person to ask this question. I'm a grown man in my late 30's who smokes on a regular basis and have ever since my college days. I come from a pretty rural, laid back area, but still a pretty conservative one.
On a trip back home recently, I found out that my dad smokes pot! I heard this from one of his friends who figured out that I smoke, and he thought it would be funny to tell me. I have so many questions.
Does my dad know I smoke? How long has he known? What do I even do with this new information?
Should I smoke with my father????
— Seriously Surprised
Dear Daddy's Boy,
What an interesting situation! I will say that there is really no one type when it comes to who enjoys cannabis. Sure, plenty of people might fit into the traditionally stereotypical role of a laidback, establishment-eschewing stoner, a la Cheech and Chong, but they're certainly not the only ones getting high.
Tons of people use marijuana, from professional adults with families, mortgages, and many responsibilities, to the sweet granny down the street. And, as cannabis laws relax and change across the country, we're starting to see more people come out of the shadows to defy the stigma and stereotypes around the plant. So, while it may come as a shock to you that your father tokes up every now and again, it's not really all that surprising!
Now, for your particular questions. Yes, your dad probably knows that you smoke. Or at least, he knows that you used to smoke — it really depends on how often you see him and how frequently you guys catch up. As a teen and young adult, I thought I could pull over so many things on my own folks. As a parent today? I am keenly aware of what my son is up to, much to his chagrin/delight (depending on the situation). That being said, there are many people that actually are that oblivious, so I will always leave room for error, but my educated guess is that your dad has some idea that you're a fan of the ganja.
Now, as to what you should do with this new information. You have a few options. First, you could do nothing. Continue your life the way it's always gone, just having this new information that you'll never talk about ever again. You could also bring it up, without getting into your own habits. You could mention that you heard from a little birdy that apparently Dad likes to get high on occasion, and make a joke of it. That way, it's out in the open, you don't have to act weird around your dad, and you can move on.
You can also use it as a way to share that you're also one to enjoy a little bit of the herb now and again. Gently and politely call your dad out, and then have some sort of awesome, possibly hazy, father-son bonding moment. It might be the one and only time you speak of it, or it could lead to other conversations. Every parent-child relationship is different, and I can't speak for your own, so you'll have to decide if you think it would go well based on your own experiences.
And lastly — should you get high with dear old dad? Yes? No? Maybe? It really is up to you. Would you feel too weird to enjoy it? Would it just make you anxious and nervous? Or, would it be hilarious and kind of fun? My guess, to be honest, is that it will be no big deal. It might feel like it at first, because — whoa!! — you're smoking with your dad, who you're used to being an authority figure. But, after a bit, you'll probably realize that you're both two adults who simply enjoy getting high.
While I've never gotten high with either of my folks (to my knowledge, neither of them have ever smoked, and they both know that I do), but I have had a couple different opportunities to get high with parents of friends (with the friends present).
This began in my mid-twenties and has continued on to this day. The parents in question are all professionals and you would probably never think they smoke marijuana. But, they do! Usually we'd all get high together and then they'd go off to read or watch TV while leaving us "kids" to do our own thing. It was definitely a little jarring the first time, but after that it was actually kind of sweet!
Good luck, and I'd love to hear a follow up.
— Mother
